I write again, troubled by the voices inside me, voices which are dying to come out. Why do we never get a perfect world, why is love such an illusion and why at times do i have this burning desire to run away from everything and everyone, and to a place where no one knows me, so that i can create a new identity for myself, a one very different from what it is now.
I dont know which path to travel, its a dilemma from which i have no way of coming out, Because no one but i can decide where i want to go. But the question is do i really want to go somewhere, well yes and no, i want to go beacuse i dont want to be here anymore and i dont want to go because i dont know what will it be to go to a place unknown and a live a new life and that unknown scares me, i wish i could find out somehow, how that unknown place will look like and how will it feel to be there .
i have always wanted to be there but that there never came it was always here and then what next so i never got to experience there. Now i feel lifes living me instead of me living my life as things are happening without me having nay control over them...
I so want to be there where i can share and care and be taken care ofand i am wating for that There to happen....
Monday, November 26, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Running around in circles...trying to catch what..
when i see my world from afar i find it perfect but when i am in it unhappiness is all i can feel.
i wonder if this happens with everyone. All my life i run after my ambition and when i finally get what i wanted to, it doesnt matter anymore as in my sense of achievement is always a step ahead. Its like ok yo got what you wanted congratulations, now move on.And the next time its much the same.
The truth i think is that i dont know what i want..where i want to go..nothing i do makes me happy..life is just a never ending routine and all that after i have supposedly achieved what i wanted to..as in there are many milestones to be achieved yet but i thought whatever i have is ok and i will work for more..but that more never comes..
i gave up a lot to gain some things and i did but now i realise the cost...i thought its ok to be alone beacause at the end of the day i will be content with what i have but thats not the case..
just wondering why do we always want people around to make us feel happy..its like you are incomplete..thats how i feel right now..incomplete
i wonder if this happens with everyone. All my life i run after my ambition and when i finally get what i wanted to, it doesnt matter anymore as in my sense of achievement is always a step ahead. Its like ok yo got what you wanted congratulations, now move on.And the next time its much the same.
The truth i think is that i dont know what i want..where i want to go..nothing i do makes me happy..life is just a never ending routine and all that after i have supposedly achieved what i wanted to..as in there are many milestones to be achieved yet but i thought whatever i have is ok and i will work for more..but that more never comes..
i gave up a lot to gain some things and i did but now i realise the cost...i thought its ok to be alone beacause at the end of the day i will be content with what i have but thats not the case..
just wondering why do we always want people around to make us feel happy..its like you are incomplete..thats how i feel right now..incomplete
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